Knowing that when I sit on the couch and think that I should be doing something productive makes me realize that I am atleast growing up and realizing that I have responsibilities, sure I haven't quite reached the point when I set my personal fun time down to get all of those responsibilities done. But one step at a time right?
I really do have to step back and look at my life some days. I get so caught up in living and pushing myself to do more and more and when I can't get it all done, I feel so disappointed and like it's a "failure" but it's just a set back really. When these set backs occur, I make myself stop and think. I'm 22, I own my own house in which I live with 3 other people and am very slowing trying to renovate, I have a fulltime job, which I am still traveling away to do courses for, I'm trying to build a hobby farm in order to be self sufficient AND I am slowly building a career and business for myself. That's alot for 22, or I think so. I know that when I was 17 I didn't think I would have come this far by the age of 22. I was always goal oriented, but I have out done what I expected of myself.
With that list of accomplishments and progressive projects I must say that I am either very enthusiastic and established person or I'm completely insane. Because really...what else would possess me to do all those things above, while taking care of 18 chickens, 1 rabbit, 7 cats, and a dog, plus myself my boyfriend, my bestfriend and another friend. I mean believe me I'm taking care of all of them, they do their fair share of helping and some days even more than I can do myself. But that's why we work so well. The point is I think my life has to be in total chaos all the time, I have to be so busy that I can't stop. I have not one sweet clue why I love living like that, but I do. I love being surrounded by people and things that I love, my pets, my other animals, my projects and hobbies. I'm also the most impatient person and want everything done and accomplished right away. Some days its a bad thing, but I'd like to think most days it's good. Impatient people get shit done.
I wish I had time like I did before to write posts all the time, I really only do it when I need to vent. I want to say that I will be able to post more in the winter, but this winter I really want to get my business finalized and legally done, official and all that jazz. I have so much archiving and cleaning to do in my programs and on my computer. I want to start training a highschool girl to help me in hopes that I can take over the school photos for GMCS. But in order to do these things I need to kick myself in the ass and grow up the rest of the way. I need to beat up the rest of my procrastinating self and tell her to never come back.
My major goals for the winter are:
Get my ass in shape, well really I just want to get healthy and shed some weight. Exercising makes me feel so much better and makes me eat better and I'm just a better person when I'm healthy.
Officialize Red Robyn Photos, and start applying for grants and start making things happen!
Do some in house projects done, I want to get some rooms painted - the kitchen is a must, the dreadful linoleum flooring off my livingroom and put my fridge into the wall.
Get ORGANIZED, I love being organized but it never lasts. But I want to get a budget done, start saving money, make a game plan for the spring and summer for the house and my business and I would really like to get meal plans done up.
I could really make a list of everything in detail, but it makes my head spin to think about it. I'm always in a rush to get things done, but its because time goes by so fast and if I stop rushing then I forget about things and time slips away.
I don't think I would want to live any other way. As grumpy and tired as I am some days, I really do love my life. Not saying this as an annoying "lovin' life" facebook status kind of way, but sometimes I have to sit back and smile at how my life is. It's far from perfect and far from uncomplicated, but it's everything I want and I've always been a girl that will work for what she wants. It's not going to just get handed to me thats for sure.
Stay Happy and Stay Focused!!